I'm sitting at the hospital doing some unfulfilling volunteer work at the front desk. I'm also sitting here doing tedious and unimportant work for an AP class. This morning I went to deathly boring seminar on getting into college. Now I ask myself, "Why?"
A: I don't know. Probably because this is what you're supposed to do.
Q: "Supposed to do"?
A: Yeah. I'm supposed to volunteer, do sports, get involved, and take AP classes-just like how I'm supposed to go to college in order to get a job and money and somehow find happiness.
Q: Well is this what you want to do?
A: I don't know. It feels like some artificial dream/goal imposed on my generation and I-like society has some map drawn out for us to follow. I don't know what I really want. I just feel like I have to follow the herd on this path to "success." I'm afraid that if I step out, maybe to make my own path, I'll get lost and left behind.
Q: Do you think you're doing the right thing by following this path?
A: I don't know. I'm just doing it because it's what I've been told is best for me. It's what my parents, school, society, and part of myself have been telling me for a long time. But part of me questions how true it is and it's tearing me apart.
Q: Well don't worry.
A: What? Why not?
Q: Hey I'm the one asking questions here.
A: No, let me ask you. How do we know what's right and what's best for us? How do we know who to listen to, even within our own heads? How free are we really if we can't find new air to breathe outside of this atmosphere of conformity?
Q: I don't know.
A: No, let me ask you. How do we know what's right and what's best for us? How do we know who to listen to, even within our own heads? How free are we really if we can't find new air to breathe outside of this atmosphere of conformity?
Q: I don't know.
This is great, Harrison: like a Platonic dialogue with you playing both Socrates and the student. One view is: you do what you HAVE to do so you can do what you WANT to do. I believe this much of the time, though probably not always. But I know from my own experience that all you are doing somehow makes sense at some point, though you have to trust me on that. There is not one thing I would go back and not do because it all led to who I am and how I see and am able to live in the world I have done my best to create for myself. You're a senior, a 17-18 year old boy: you are supposed to be impatient, a bit (okay, very) frustrated: that is the energy that will catapult you over the wall into the next level. See the orientation, disorientation, new orientation model: you are working now to get to the stage of welcome disorientation that awaits you at the next level.
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ReplyDeleteGreat Blog. That's how I feel about half the things I do. And if your ever lonely, just give me call "Abhishek, i'm here. I've got pudding pops". (Mr. Burke's comment probably more helpful
ReplyDeleteVery insightful, you bring up some great questions hlee.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but come across your blog.
ReplyDeleteFirst off,i would like to say how this was a clever way to write your blog. Secondly, I'm actually quite grateful for you for writing on this topic. I have a difficult time distinguishing my motives for completing certain tasks. I'm not quite sure if I volunteer because that is what I'm required to do or because i actually want to. Right now, I'm having a difficult time understanding my motives.